When did scammers become so moralistic?

It seems that these high minded 419-ers have some standards after all…

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David Johnson and the hooker

This little bait started a while ago with the usual 419 email about a Scottish widow named Fiona Watts. David Johnson was promising me great wealth if I helped him distribute her estate with the assistance of a lawyer from Allen Overy. Anyway, this is what transpired:

Dear Sir,
 
This is very interesting, as a close friend of mine works for Allen Overy. He says he will do the legal work for me free of charge on this case, so if possible I will use him and not the lawyer you recommend.
 
Let me know how we can progress.
 
Many thanks

He didn’t reply for weeks so I forgot about him, but he finally answered this morning:

Thank you once again for writing me. Please we have to use the late Fiona Watts lawyers and please forward your personal details so that we can progress.
 
David.

Funny, that.

Dear David,
 
No problem. We will use her lawyers, but I will use my friend at Allen Overy as a legal advisor too.
 
Here are my details:
 
(1) Your full names. S Butlykka R
(2) Contact address. 25 Tuatty Road, Dodgeton, UK
(3) Age/Sex. 25/female
(4) Mailing address. 25 Tuatty Road, Dodgeton, UK
(5) State and Country. Dodgetown, UK
(6) Telephone number and fax number. 03748 2769387
(7) Occupation. Prostitute
 
Many thanks

His response was curt and, I thought, a little harsh:

I am sorry i can’t work with a prostitute.

This will probably be the end of the line for our business relationship, but he might come crawling back at some stage. They often do.

Thy Neighbour’s Ass


In the course of one of my minor scambaits I questioned good Pastor John:

On another note – since you are a pastor of Christ, I wonder if you could give me some religious advice. I am a strong believer in God, but I wonder if you can tell me – is it against the Lord to covet my neighbour’s ass, or will this cause me to rot in hell forever?

He responded just now with some lengthy account of some legal documents he plans to fax me, but in the midst was this nugget of joy:

Please as the Bible made it to our understand that you should not sin, so get your hands off the Ass as its a sin and can lead you to hell. Get your self a new good life with this funds as soon as it has been paid to you.

O rly? XD

World Health Organisation Award – Part II

His posts are in blue, mine are in white:

ROFL.

World Health Organisation Award – Part I

Can you imagine my utter delight when I realised I’d been selected for a World Health Organisation Award?

—– Forwarded Message —-
From: WORLD HEALTH <
WORLD.HEALTH.ORGANIZATION@ns2.krdns.net>
To:
salsarionn@yahoo.co.uk
Subject: WORLD HEALTH ORGANIZATION AWARD

The  E-mail  attached to your IP  Address, “has been given” the
2007/2008 Award of Five million United States  Dollars  credited to file
NO:M154S/WL04, as part of our International “Help the less privileged
program”. Please, confirm if you received the parcel sent to your
address. if  otherwise,  please, contact this E-mail addresses:
claims_bengray1@yahoo.com, for more details with the following
informations below.

1. FULL NAME:  2. ADDRESS:  3.CITY:  4.COUNTRY:  5.AGE:    6.SEX: 
7.OCCUPATION:  8.STATE/ZIP CODE:  9. PHONE NUMBERS/ FAX NUMBERS:  10.
E-MAIL ADDRESS/ ALTERNATIVE E-MAIL ADDRESS:
WORLD HEALTH ORGANIZATION

Dr. Ben Gray.
Mrs Jean Middleton, Co-ordinator.

NOTE: Please, be informed that the said W.H.O Award is not an open
Award, for the main time, keep it Cool and calm. Make sure this award is used
to help the less priviledged.

Incredible. I replied, of course:

Wow, I can’t believe I have won this prize! I am so happy!
 
Here are my details:
 
1. FULL NAME:  Salsa Butlykka Rionn
2. ADDRESS:  25 Tuatty Road, Dod Gee Avenue
3.CITY:  Skamstown
4.COUNTRY:  UK
5.AGE:    20
6.SEX:  twice a day       
7.OCCUPATION:  prostitute
8.STATE/ZIP CODE:  dg376298
9. PHONE NUMBERS/ FAX NUMBERS:  29 8374 83264
10. E-MAIL ADDRESS/ ALTERNATIVE E-MAIL ADDRESS:
salsarionn@yahoo.co.uk

I look forward to receiving my prize.

Then this touching email arrived:

Hello. Salsa Butlykka Rionn,
 
We have received your letter here at the World Health Organization Award payment center London England. We are are surprised at your age, can you handle this fund when it gets to you? Our purpose of you receiving this award is to use part to assist the poor close to you. You said you are a prostitute by occupation, you sound truthful, most people will hide this from us, we believe this award will take you out of the street. Are you a christian? We can see that you are online now, meet I Dr. Ben Gray now at yahoo measenger let talk, so we can know if you are to receive this award parcel or not, your age is too low to receive such a huge fund, but we have to hear from you.And we believe this fund will help you get ride of hard life.Meet me now on yahoo messenger lets talk, meet me with our claim id– claims_bengray1@yahoo.com
 
God bless you

Before I could reply, my dear new friend popped up on messenger. Not ever having chatted to a scammer before, I jumped at the chance. What transpired was priceless. See next entry for the full transcript.

Fighting Fire with Fire – my art scam

I’ve been inundated with scam emails lately, and have been replying with the usual ‘tell me more’ in order to waste the scammers’ time. However, I decided to have a little fun with this chap:

—– Forwarded Message —-
From: FRANK U <
xxxx@walla.com>
Sent: Monday, 25 February, 2008 1:31:27 PM
Subject: WAITING FOR YOUR RESPONSE.

 
Project Implimentation Unit,
Nigeria National Petroleum Corporation,
Marina-Lagos.
234-189-779-81
Dear Sir, …. etc. (usual 419 bullcrap)

So I tried my art scam on him:

Dear Sir,
 
Thank you for your email. I was surprised to receive it, but am happy that you contacted me.
 
As it happens, I am not in a position to help you with your immediate problem, but I have another offer for you.
 
I am a collector of African art (particularly from Nigeria and Ghana) so was very excited when you contacted me, since you come from Nigeria. I need to build up my art collection and am willing to pay large sums for original work by Nigerian and Ghanaian artists. Do you know any artists who would be willing to sell their work to me? I am happy to pay in the region of $50,000 to $100,000 depending on the standard and quality of the work.
 
Please get in touch with me as soon as possible so we can progress.
 
Sal Rionn

His response was somewhat confusing, but he seems to have taken the bait:

From: DR. FRANK U <xxxxx@yahoo.co.in>
To: Salsa Rionn

Sent: Monday, 25 February, 2008 2:38:55 PM
Subject: YOUR REQUEST IS NOTED..

Atten: Sala Rionn,
 
Compliments for your mail.
 
My priority at the moment is great and encouraging for us to be in business partnership irrespective of our origin. I have a good potentials to achieve greatness in areas of African Art and business investment in any part of the world, just as you have requested for my assistance in the collection of African Arts. Note that this task is a very dicey one which is against the copy right law. The Goverment of my country prohibits the selling out the talents of the mother nature without the cosent of the original artist however, your requested has been programmed and will be looked into to fashion out the areas of your needs witout any problem.
 
The issue of your ransome payment should be regarded as a secondary matter but the primary objective is to assist you get what you want from Nigeria and our neighbouring country Ghana at the expense of the original mail sent to you.
 
I have the key to the treasures of popular and talented Artists in Nigeria and Ghana, it depends on what you want in your arts collection work. My brother is the director incharge of the performance artists in Nigeria, I will discuss your matter with him so that he will help to get the works of the popular artists sold to you under government protection ok.
 
Therefore, you are advised to forward to me your contact information so that we can begin the business immediately. See as stated hereunder your required detailed contact information:
 
1.  Your full name.
2.  Your contact address.
3.  Your telephonefax numbers.
4.  Your age and marrital status.
5.  Your conutry of origin.
6.  Your spiritual backgroung.
 
Note that as soon as the information is received and your seriousness towards the accomplishment of this task is paramount for you to get what you really want from Nigeria.
 
Thanks and remain Blessed.
 
Frank U.

Fancy that! I replied:

Dear friend Frank,

Thank you for your email. I am glad that you can help me in my pursuit of fine African art. How lucky that your brother is a director of artists. Perhaps he can help us.

As for the copyright issue, this won’t be a problem because I don’t want to export art without the artists permission. I would want to pay the artists a sum of money for their work, and pay you also some money for helping with the transaction.

I’m not sure what you mean by ‘ransome payment’ – could you clarify? In my country, a ransom refers to a payment made to secure the release of hostages from a kidnapper. As far as I know, in this situation no-one has been kidnapped!

I’m not sure why you are keen to know my marital status and other details about me, so I have chosen not to fill in your questionnaire.

Please get back to me soon.

Many thanks,

Sal

Let’s see what happens, shall we?

Martina and the Skah Mah Musicians

This one started a while ago when I responded (harshly) to an email from a girl who claimed to have seen my profile on the net and wanted to ‘chat’ to me on MSN. After I rebuked her with choice expletives, she sent me a 419 scam email. Fancy that! I replied with the following:

“Dear Martina,
 
Thank you for your email. I have read it and feel very strongly about your situation. My great condolences to you on the death of your father.
 
I cannot help with your immediate problem, although I would like to offer you another opportunity. I am the Chief Executive of a successful record label which represents Reggae, Skah and traditional Mah music. Currently I have no musicians from Africa, and am keen to recruit. Since you come from Liberia, do you know any musicians who would be interested in a scholarship of US$50,000. If so, I would be grateful if you could put me in touch with them.
 
Best wishes and many thanks,
 
Salsa Rionn
Chief Executive Officer
Skah Mah Recordings”

Dear old Martina obviously didn’t read it properly as she replied with:

“Hello Dear how are you today
I want to thank you for your kind reply to my letter  and your acceptance to assist me, it is my previlegde to have you as my partner if only you will be honest with me in this matter…” (etc etc, repeating original email)

I answered:

“You did not read my email correctly. I have copied it below, and ask you PLEASE read it CAREFULLY. I am not offering to help with the transfer, but i have another opportunity to offer you:” etc.

Now she seems to have caught on, but her eyes are on the prize:

“Hello Salsa,
Connecting you to Musicians is not a problem, but what did i get in return?
Martina”

A wily one, this one. I responded:

“Thank you for your last message. Your fee for finding a suitable musician would be $10,000. Let me know if this would be suitable.”

Of course this will be suitable to a money-grubbing scam merchant. Ah, quel surprise:

“Hello Salsa,
I will definately fined suitable musicians for you and the price here is good for me and i have started informing good musicians here about this offer.
Please how do i get your offer when i finally fined you a suitable musicians here? Please i am abit sketica n this matter.
Thanks as i wait to read from you soon.
Best regard
Martina”

You are right to be ‘sketica’, Ms Akume. But worry not! Western Union is your friend, like countless thieving scammers before you.

More to come…